And We Were Bored
by Kizoku Mika
Summary: A random collection of scenes written in the heat of boredom.


Disclaimer: If I actually owned this do you think I'd be actually writing this? Heck no! Revolutionary Girl Utena is not mine, I'm just a lowly high school student with nooo money. (Broke).  
  
Summary/warnings: Based off an IM conversation with Ara (aka: Bambi) Self inserts; Blatant silliness, drug usage, alcohol consumption, underage drinking, shoujo-ai hints, quotes from other animes; betaed. What happens when us fanfic authors get bored? OOC, and poor attempt at humor.  
  
Featured Mini-Scenes: "Stoned Duellists," "Puff Puff Give," "Saionji's Stash!" "Grape Soda, I love you!" "Yummy Naughty Secrets," "Chuchu is Evil," "Saionji The Drunk," "HUNGER," "Fancy Fingers Miki," and "Not My Brother Yay!"  
  
And We Were Bored...  
  
It started out as any other normal day. Someone replaced my anti-bacterial face soap with the regular hand one and my face got all itchy and red. Basically I was allergic. So puffy-faced I sat down in front of the television, staring at the blank screen.  
  
"Konban wa!"  
  
"Good evening." I parroted in English, not even flinching (or noticing) when the door opened and Bambi let herself inside, unannounced.  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"Do I look alright to you?"  
  
"Nope, so whatcha doing?"  
  
I motioned to the TV, which was still cut off. She sat down beside me and was watching nothing with me for a while before I decided to start conversation, "I'm bored off my rocker, cuz I've got nothin' to do."  
  
"I know the feeling...I just got through playing Final Fantasy Eight, then seven." My brow arched, "You're supposed to play seven first, then eight." She smiled, "I know I should play seven first...but I'd yet to play eight so....eight first then seven."  
  
"Oh, I guess that's alright then." I scratched at my face, then got up and went over to my computer that stayed in the on position, word pad already opened up, the cursor blinking. I sat down...and typed up some random scene....  
  
Stoned Duellists  
  
Juri relaxed carelessly against the see through glass of the greenhouse, a slim cigarette dangling from her lips it's burning tip bright against the impeding darkness. Utena never really found smoking sexy until now, "...Juri-sempai?"  
  
A soft intake of breath, Juri regarded the other girl over the light veil of smoke with something akin to casual surprise. She hadn't expected anyone to stumble upon her this time of day. The only person who actually entered this domain was the rose bride herself. "Utena." Juri said, deadpan.  
  
Utena wrinkled her nose, the stench indicating that the harmless self- rolled cigarette held more than addictive tobacco. "Uhm...." Funny, the pale haired duellist didn't look stoned...just...mellow. "I needed to ask you something."  
  
"Hn"  
  
Came the muffled grunt, head inclined for her to continue while she filled her lungs with delicious toxins, her head soaring far above the clouds, into the spill of stars. "Did it mean something to you? That time...in the observation tower..." Juri's head lolled to the side, her giddy laugh barely audible, "Mm...everyone visits the observation tower sooner or later, dear...prince..." She pulled a long drag...choked and did it again, her eyes glassy, turning slightly pink. "All for the same reason, it means nothing, if nothing is an undefinable reason, an undefinable emotion. You'll find out, when it's you're turn." Utena colored, the indignant blush darkening to a deep rosy-red, "My turn?!" She yelled, then quickly clamped a hand over her mouth, glancing left then right before continuing, "Never in a million years! Not with Akio of all people...!"  
  
"You talk to much..."  
  
"huh?"  
  
"My head hurts..."  
  
***  
  
I glanced up from the screen, squealed. Whose Line was on! I rolled around in my chair, bumping into Bambi who had gotten curious and had been reading over my shoulder, "Me like!" She piped, "Will you continue, later?"  
  
My eyes were already glued to the screen, "Mmhmm...."  
  
I could have sworn I saw her sweatdrop out of the corner of my eye...  
  
After Whose Line...  
  
***  
  
Puff Puff Give  
  
Utena stared at Juri as if she'd grown another head, "So tense...I bet you suffer from a calcium deficiency." She plucked the joint from her lips and offered the unlit end, glossy half lidded eyes gleaming mischievously "Let's let our hair down-relax" Peer pressure, what did all those after school specials say to do in a situation such as this?  
  
Oh yeah, be firm, look them in the eye and say, "Might as well..." or something to that extent. She took the tightly rolled joint between thumb and fore finger, acutely aware of the other girls gaze on her and puffed shallowly.  
  
Her eyes watered, her throat burned and she hacked violently, the drug taken from her before she could drop it. A dizzy rush charged over her awareness. "Ah...shit..." She heaved, the vulgar word rolling off her tongue like water.  
  
***  
  
"Say no to drugs." I sing-songed, deeming it necessary to tell her for some reason.  
  
"La la la...bored...hungry...bored..." I blinked, offended here I'd been hunched over typing away for both our entertainment and..."Eat, read about stoned Juri and Utena."  
  
"I'm waiting for my mom to finish cooking so I can go home...and I've already read it several times."  
  
"Wha...?" She tapped her temple eyeing me in a knowing manner, "Mind reading Kizoku...mind reading."  
  
"Oh."  
  
.......  
  
.......  
  
SILENCE  
  
"So did you like it? I came up with all on my own." I grinned hugely and so did she.  
  
***  
  
Saionji's Stash!  
  
Juri grinned, more of a baring of teeth "Strong isn't it? It's Saionji's stash so it packs a punch." She took another drag, blowing out perfectly round circlets. "This was originally used by wise shaman to induce visions..." She chuckled while the prince hunched over, suddenly very light- headed her stomach flip-flopping, burning, her intestines on fire.  
  
***  
  
"GRAPE SODAAAAAAAAAAA...........!!!" Damn she's a fast reader; Already raided the fridge, crap that was my last can too....  
  
"HeheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"  
  
Great a hyper Bambi, this should be fun.  
  
"Nothing perks me up like grape soda." Surprising Bambi said this calmly, "Man why can't I have this stuff in school?"  
  
" Well as in science kids does better in their test scores with the present of chocolate...."  
  
" But I think I'll do better with grape soda....uhm...Kizoku?"  
  
I was mad typing by this point.  
  
***  
  
Grape Soda, I love you!!  
  
Wakaba and Utena lounged comfortable under the shade of a tree of unknown origins "Wahhh! Grape Soda! Oh, Utena I love you!!" Both girls giggled as the brunette threw herself at her best friend, locking her arms around the others neck. "Woah, hey, calm down Wakaba it's not that big a deal."  
  
"But YOU remembered."  
  
***  
  
"Hehehe grape soda rules!!!!"  
  
"Ah, you interrupted me now give me subject so I can type a scene about it."  
  
"Chocolate!!!!!!!!!!" She demanded, then "Voodoo dolls!!!" I began to wonder just what was in that soda...  
  
***  
  
Yummy Naughty Secrets  
  
Anshii had a secret. A secret love affair so sweet, so...intense! "Mmm..." She gasps as creamy milk chocolate assaulted her taste buds.  
  
"Oh..mmm..."  
  
"Anshii! You still in there? Hurry up I need to go to the bathroom...!!" Said Utena, whining at the end. The Rose Bride had been in the bathroom all morning doing gods know what. Anshii almost panicked, trashing the evidence of her sinful obsession into the trash bin.  
  
[AN:"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Bambi and caffeine do NOT mix....]  
  
Mikage carefully pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, brow drawn together in deep concentration. A slight sheen of sweat grazed his forehead as his hands worked feverishly with the object in on the table, "If I can't defeat her in a duel...then this will have to do, mw hahaha! Eternity will be mine!"  
  
"OUCH!"  
  
"Utena-sama, whatever is wrong?"  
  
Mikage pushed another pin into the harmless looking doll, a single strand of pink hair grazing it's head.  
  
***  
  
"'Another topic?"  
  
"Well with only one cup of grape soda...it's wearing off I can never be hyper for long.".  
  
"Oh, crap," Okay I sulked, I have to admit I was having fun...."Tangerines.........noodles.........bathroom towels..........got milk........alarm clocks; aliens!" Maybe it takes a while to wear off.  
  
***  
  
Chuchu is Evil  
  
Chuchu is evil. A demon that devoured food to keep its life force so that one that it would grow to take over the world with his masters. The little monkey-mouse nibbled on a tangerine, skin and all before diving into a bowl of noodles, tipping over a glass of milk in the process. "Oh no! Chuchu look at this mess, please try to be more careful." Anshii chided gently, retreating to the bathroom, emerging armed with damp soapy towels, cleaning up the mess. Chuchu merely spoke his alien dialect "Chuchu!" a series of loud shrieking noises (much like the alarm clocked that frequently got chunked out the window by his other master) and continued chewing. The world shall be his...one day...  
  
***  
  
"Band-Aid.....beefsteak...........sake.......sugarcubes." Yup, it definitely takes a while...  
  
***  
  
Saionji The Drunk  
  
Saionji stared at his empty cup of sake, his seventh one, gone in a gulp. His vision was wavery much like the hallucination one got while traveling on a road with the sun beaming down, you know, those black squiggly lines you saw, that's how he was seeing everything.  
  
"Urgh...my head..."  
  
"Awww, here's a Band-Aid." Said one of the little rosebride's circling his dizzy consciousness, placing the said item on his temple, "You're gonna have a nice BIG hangover, you should have eaten something before drinking."  
  
"I did..." He slurred  
  
"A half of beefsteak isn't good enough sugahcubes."  
  
"Sugahcubes? Oh yeah...I'm drunk..." He promptly passed out.  
  
***  
  
"You know I should save this document..." Saved, I did, "You want me to continue?" said Bambi.  
  
"Yes please."  
  
"Can food.............carnivore...........cherries.....diet soda..............dishwater soap."  
  
***  
  
HUNGER  
  
Her stomach rumbled again and she groaned. Must people envied her slim figure until they realized how much of a struggle it was to keep from being under weight. Her metabolism was so fast she required a constant intake of food, mainly canned since it was easy to serve and never spoiled and was...well canned (which ment it kept a certain rat-monkey out of it). Gleefully she cut open the can, discarding the opening in the sink fully of soapy dishwater. Utena moved on over to the fridge, fetching a diet soda and some cherries, her favorite, for desert. "This looks sooo good. Mm, man I'm famished!" She munched happily like the "carnivore" she was. (More like omnivore).  
  
***  
  
"Keys.........lock............dodge ball.........dying.............white chocolate" She fired 'em all in rapid succession.  
  
***  
  
Fancy Fingers Miki  
  
The music room, the only place Miki sought to dodge the curved balls life threw at him. Nimble fingers caressed the ivory keys lovingly - a lover's touch. Music flowed soft-undying in its interruption of his emotions, seductive in it's heartfelt tune. He'd found his shinning thing. Miki's eyes drifting secretly towards the window seat where the Rose Bride was indulging in her sinful passion, white chocolate smearing the corners of her delicate mouth. He smiled then "I'm glad you like it Miss Anthy."  
  
***  
  
I was huffing and puffing, my fingers cramped. "Damn, couldn't get the lock in there." I was scowling at the screen, Bambi had drawn up a chair and was happily lounging, milking the empty grape soda can for a small drop, there had to be a drop left, right? "It was good enough."  
  
"If you say so Ba-chan..."  
  
"Eggs............eraser...............eternal..........fashion.........fabri c."  
  
***  
  
Not My Brother Yay!  
  
Watch out world... There's a new girl in town Free from the restraints of incest... It's Nanami! Eternal Fashion Designer extraordinare! Pure Eypgtian fabric made by human labor all in an effort to attract him...dear Touga...ex- brother...watch out!  
  
***  
  
I'm dead now, exhausted. Lying sprawled out on the floor where I'd fallen out my chair. My sub-conscious is telling me this. Bambi looks down at me lightly poking my side "Zoku, you dead? You better not be who else will write silly stuff like this?"  
  
A voice drifted pleasantly from the apartment across the hall, "Bambi, dinner!"  
  
"Oh FOOD! I'm starved!"  
  
Come to think of it...this day wasn't so different from the norm....  
  
~Owari~  
  
Notes: Thanks for reading...now be a good reader and review. Also I want to thank Bambi for helping me on the editing. 


End file.
